And the corollary...

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Complain About My Dogs:

1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
3. I like my pet(s) better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me, it's an adopted child who is short,hairy, walks on all fours and is speech-challenged.
5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, are easier to train,usually come when called, don't ask for money, never drive your car, don'thang out with losers, don't drink or smoke, and don't worry about the latest fashions.

Memo to Pets

You may have seen this already, but I wanted to share it anyway...
Memo to the Family Dog and Cat

1. When I say move, it means go someplace else. It does not mean switchpositions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
2. The dishes on the floor are yours and contain your food. All otherdishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note: placing a paw ornose-print in the middle of my dinner does not stake your claim on it, nordo I find it aesthetically pleasing in any way.)
3. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beatingme to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
   
4. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. Locate your innerbeast and remember that sleeping animals can actually curl up in a ball, soit is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out tothe fullest extent possible.
5. My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
6. For the last time, humans like to use the bathroom alone. If by somemiracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it won\'t help toclaw, whine, meow, bite the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try topull the door open. (Trust me, I have been using the bathroom foryears...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)
7. When you see me asleep on the couch, it is not funny to make a suddenleap onto my stomach and drop a chew toy, bone or jingle ball on my crotch,no matter how much that makes other family members laugh.
8. Dog: Don\'t think for a minute that making a sad face and whimperingpathetically will get you out of trouble when I find a puddle of pee on thecarpet. The face and the whimpering only validate that you knew it waswrong when you did it.
9. Cat: My sitting down to bite into a juicy sandwich is not a signal foryou to begin gagging loudly and then hocking up the most disgustinghairball in history.
10. Dog and Cat: The proper order is kiss me, then go lick yourself. Icannot stress this enough.

Break ups

Last year in April I broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. Today, I was on the receiving end of a breakup that was much, much more painful. My housekeepers left me.

It was such a beautiful relationship in the beginning--I would leave a check for them on the dining room table, and I would come home and see that they had done such nice things with my clutter, and that my carpet was vacuumed, and my bathrooms had been cleaned.

Alas, today I got a "Dear Chris" letter. I find it hard to recall all that was said--I only know that it was something about "not having enough time to clean." Does that mean that I let my house get too dirty? Does that mean that my house is too big to clean for the money? Is it something I did?

Oh, it feels like I'll never have it so good again. Where will I ever find another house cleaner that I can afford?! What will I do?!

Maria Mena on growing up.

This is an issue that I'm well beyond, as anyone over 17 really ought to be. What I find interesting however, is the skill with which Maria Mena captures that whole teenage period where you're trying to find yourself, and your earliest experiences with love involve some re-defining yourself to make your significant other happy. Jeez I'm glad that part of growing up is behind me.

I wish you'd see it in my face
But I'm caught up in those long lost days
And how can I even make you see
When I don't even know me

Following my footsteps home
This time I'm walking all alone
Trying hard to be someone I don't even know

I feel like a shadow
Walking behind who you think I am

A perspective on medicine you don't hear very often

... and one with which I agree.

I've always been struck by the phrase "you can't put a price on life." Apparently you can.

What you can't do is rationally offer a rational person anything in exchange for their life--any value the person might obtain is null absent their life. What you can do is offer to perform a service that will save their life--for a fee.

When my friend George was dying of liver cancer 4 years ago, the hospital had published year-end reports. Of the 30,000 people they saw that year and treated, only 3,000 people had insurance or paid by other means. 1 in 10 distince people paid. This does not account for the fact that of the distinct people that paid, they had higher average number of visits than people who did pay. This is because when you can get something for free, you tend to take advantage of it more often.

This means that your medical costs (inclusive, as in including what they charge you directly, what the government takes from you, etc.) are at least 10 times higher than they would be if everyone paid their own way. This means that George's many $2k per day hospital stays should have been around $200 per day, and would have been had he not been paying for 9 other people besides.

Smallville and Shakespeare

Okay, so I'm a sucker for Smallville. I find delicious tension in the relationship of the young Clark Kent and Lex Luthor. Every now and then I learn something as well. I'm going through season 2 right now, and I came across a great song by Sheila Nichol's called "Love Song." Additionally, there was a great quote from Shakespeare:

Who will believe my verse in time to come,
If it were fill'd with your most high deserts?
Though yet, heaven knows, it is but as a tomb
Which hides your life and shows not half of your parts.
If I could write the beauty of your eyes
And in fresh numbers number all your graces,
The age to come would say 'This poet lies:
Such heavenly touches ne'er touch'd earthly faces.'
So should my papers yellow'd with their age
Be scorn'd like old men of less truth than tongue,
And your true rights be term'd a poet's rage
And stretched metre of na antique song:
But were some child of yours alive that time,
You should live twice; in it and in my rhyme.

Poetry is something I need to learn more about. There have been so many times when I've swelled with emotions I wanted to express, and was unable to find a word or gesture that brought justice to my experience. Shakespeare, like all great artists, makes it seem effortless.

~ Sonnet XVII, Shakespeare

While I don't agree with the author's conclusions...

The story is still interesting.

Flawed AIDS Drug Study Exposes NIH Misconduct

It's been a good day...

Today is good. Firstly, I got my loot from www.amazon.com:

• Season 2 of Penn & Teller's Bullshit
• Faith No More's Introduce Yourself
• Design Patterns, Elements of Reusable Object-Oriented Software
• Chainfire, Book 9 of the Sword of Truth series
• Admiral Hornblower in the West Indies, the last of the Horatio Hornblower series.

J. is coming over tonight to watch some episodes of Bullshit. That should be fun.

I had some successes at work today too--always a reason for celebration! I love my work--every day is a new adventure, a new, tougher problem to solve, a new chance to pit my talents against the available technology, a new opportunity to master new skills. Things are still extremely busy here, but today was a good day.