I have a friend that’s dealing with issues of substance abuse, so I was interested in the “philosophy” behind 12 step programs. I’ve been a fan of “God grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”-quote for a long time now. The point of contention I have with AA is where to draw the line between the things I can change and the things I can’t.
Upon reading the 12 steps, it’s obvious that it was based more on religion than any kind of science or psychology. It’s also obvious what made it work as well as it did, and what it’s shortcomings are. Noticeably absent from the 12 steps is any mention of the destruction to one’s self that substance abuse brings about. It fails to provide any personal motive for recovery. I’m sure that in the meeting the relationship to self-interest is mentioned, but that there’s no mention of self-interest in the anthem of the 12-stepper is significant.
Here are the 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous and my comments:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.
In the short term, this is okay. However, as a long-term view, it raises the question, “why am I here?” If I have no control over my reliance on a substance, I may as well just get blasted. The “one-day-at-a-time” philosophy is a good idea in the short-term, because it allows the recoverer to treat his problem in manageable steps. However, in the long term, the recoverer must take on more and more of the responsibility for living.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Why can’t I restore my own sanity?
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Why can’t I use my own will to fix my own problems?
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
No criticism here: I completely agree. In fact, it ain’t just recoverers that need to do this, it’s everybody.
Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Again, I agree. Although given that I’m an atheist, I take it to mean “admitting to myself and others” the nature of my wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
This is the most damaging part. It implies that I have no responsibility of correcting my own character defects. Does this mean that if I relapse that it’s God’s fault? Where’s the benefit to me for succeeding in my recovery?
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Same criticism as above.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Completely agree here.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Completely agree here.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Completely agree here.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Waste of time as far as I’m concerned. Time better spent introspecting and working on our issues.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
No need to proselytize as far as I’m concerned.
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At first, summer of 1998, it was not easy for me to stay sober , just not drinking and going to meetings. But at least I wasn't drinking, and was put into a place of fellowship where I could hear the message, but only if and it was conveyed. And thank God it finally was.
The welcomed and wonderful band-aids of the Fellowship with which I had covered my wounds were beginning to reach their full saturation point. The spiritual bleeding continued.
It was five days short of my second anniversary on a curiously warm night, and a drink was the furthest thing from my mind. I was driving home from my office and I was feeling rather at ease.
It had been a productive night evening. Our production (sales) was excellent, I had hired some new very promising people, and I was in a fantastic frame of mind. I had just gotten off the phone with my sponsor, and we had shared some great AA talk. Suddenly it occurred to me that on such a great day, it is a damned shame that I cannot drink anymore."
It would have been the ideal time to unwind -- kick back, and REALLY enjoy my good fortune, my imminent sober anniversary and my apparent serenity.
Three days later I awoke in a motel room, five minutes from my office. I was in bed, naked, sweating and shivering cold, and coming off a blackout. I had relapsed. I have no memory of what happened to me from the time the insanity of the first drink entered my thoughts, to the time I came to.
I drove home. The pain in my soul was so extreme, I felt that death was the only possible way out. The sickness in my own soul had hit my absolute threshold. I knew it was not possible for me to take even one iota more. I had a shotgun in the house. I thought that if I put the barrel in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes, I would be relieved.
But I knew the shells where too old, and with a shotgun in my crotch, if it misfired it could be very painful and unfortunate if I lived. Yet death was the only way.
I did not know it, but THIS was a jumping-off place where I had never been before.
I headed for the basement to bring the gun back upstairs to bed. On the way, I stopped. I stood on the balcony outside of the bedroom and looked down at my son's room, where he lay asleep. "What about him." I thought. What of him growing up without a daddy like you did?
Then I thought of my wife behind me, lying in bed. What horror would she experience to hear the explosion and watch as my head splattered across the ceiling; possibly with bits of my splattered brains dripping down on the bed next to her; my headless body lying beside her? Was this what she bargained for when she married me?
Had she any idea?
I turned around and headed back to my bed, and put my head face down into the pillow and I prayed to God. A cry that came from deep down from my solar plexus - my "soul" if you will.
I asked of God not to live; neither did I ask to die. I made no promises in exchange for anything. I just abandoned all hope for myself of doing anything and asked (prayed - begged) that anything He wanted would be. I knew I must now either die or live, whichever was His choice, because only one or the other was possible in that moment. All I knew was the way I now am, could not possibly continue.
At this same moment, when death seemed so appealing, I had what would be termed as a spiritual experience. With it came a sudden, breeze of cool, sweet smelling air through the room. I heard, in my consciousness, the voice of God. He said that He loved me and would help if I would have Him, that there was a better way to Him. It was a path paved by those who came before. It would lead me back to Him. I could see this with a vision and clarity that I still have today. I thanked God, and I cried for my past arrogance and fell off to sleep
The next morning, after sleeping only a few hours, I awoke feeling well rested. An old-timer came into my life a few days later. He offered and I accepted his help in guiding me through and practicing the Program of recovery using the directions outlined by the first one hundred alcoholics who authored the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.
I began to see the results immediately and forty-four days later, I was a free man. I began to seek out fellow alcoholics in AA who also followed or sought the same path. It is the reason I am a moderator of Yahoo Groups, and try to stay in contact with folks all around the world who follow this path - and why I endeavor to engage in any activity I can which might help others.
Peace,
Danny S
http://www.dannyschwarzhoff.net
At first, summer of 1998, it was not easy for me to stay sober , just not drinking and going to meetings. But at least I wasn't drinking, and was put into a place of fellowship where I could hear the message, but only if and it was conveyed. And thank God it finally was.
The welcomed and wonderful band-aids of the Fellowship with which I had covered my wounds were beginning to reach their full saturation point. The spiritual bleeding continued.
It was five days short of my second anniversary on a curiously warm night, and a drink was the furthest thing from my mind. I was driving home from my office and I was feeling rather at ease.
It had been a productive night evening. Our production (sales) was excellent, I had hired some new very promising people, and I was in a fantastic frame of mind. I had just gotten off the phone with my sponsor, and we had shared some great AA talk. Suddenly it occurred to me that on such a great day, it is a damned shame that I cannot drink anymore."
It would have been the ideal time to unwind -- kick back, and REALLY enjoy my good fortune, my imminent sober anniversary and my apparent serenity.
Three days later I awoke in a motel room, five minutes from my office. I was in bed, naked, sweating and shivering cold, and coming off a blackout. I had relapsed. I have no memory of what happened to me from the time the insanity of the first drink entered my thoughts, to the time I came to.
I drove home. The pain in my soul was so extreme, I felt that death was the only possible way out. The sickness in my own soul had hit my absolute threshold. I knew it was not possible for me to take even one iota more. I had a shotgun in the house. I thought that if I put the barrel in my mouth and pull the trigger with my toes, I would be relieved.
But I knew the shells where too old, and with a shotgun in my crotch, if it misfired it could be very painful and unfortunate if I lived. Yet death was the only way.
I did not know it, but THIS was a jumping-off place where I had never been before.
I headed for the basement to bring the gun back upstairs to bed. On the way, I stopped. I stood on the balcony outside of the bedroom and looked down at my son's room, where he lay asleep. "What about him." I thought. What of him growing up without a daddy like you did?
Then I thought of my wife behind me, lying in bed. What horror would she experience to hear the explosion and watch as my head splattered across the ceiling; possibly with bits of my splattered brains dripping down on the bed next to her; my headless body lying beside her? Was this what she bargained for when she married me?
Had she any idea?
I turned around and headed back to my bed, and put my head face down into the pillow and I prayed to God. A cry that came from deep down from my solar plexus - my "soul" if you will.
I asked of God not to live; neither did I ask to die. I made no promises in exchange for anything. I just abandoned all hope for myself of doing anything and asked (prayed - begged) that anything He wanted would be. I knew I must now either die or live, whichever was His choice, because only one or the other was possible in that moment. All I knew was the way I now am, could not possibly continue.
At this same moment, when death seemed so appealing, I had what would be termed as a spiritual experience. With it came a sudden, breeze of cool, sweet smelling air through the room. I heard, in my consciousness, the voice of God. He said that He loved me and would help if I would have Him, that there was a better way to Him. It was a path paved by those who came before. It would lead me back to Him. I could see this with a vision and clarity that I still have today. I thanked God, and I cried for my past arrogance and fell off to sleep
The next morning, after sleeping only a few hours, I awoke feeling well rested. An old-timer came into my life a few days later. He offered and I accepted his help in guiding me through and practicing the Program of recovery using the directions outlined by the first one hundred alcoholics who authored the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous.
I began to see the results immediately and forty-four days later, I was a free man. I began to seek out fellow alcoholics in AA who also followed or sought the same path. It is the reason I am a moderator of Yahoo Groups, and try to stay in contact with folks all around the world who follow this path - and why I endeavor to engage in any activity I can which might help others.
Peace,
Danny S
http://www.dannyschwarzhoff.net
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