A member of my
Objectivist Singles group has asked an interesting question: "What do you look for in a mate?" Given that she asked the question under the title "Ideal", I'm going to take the question a bit deeper and describe my "Ideal" romantic partner. These points are not in any particular order, and I have not indicated which ones are "Must-haves" and which ones I will "give" on.
1) Objectivist. Given that I subscribe to the philosophy of Objectivism and rigourously apply it to my life, it only makes sense that any romantic partner desribed as "ideal" should do the same.
2) Intellectual. I want someone that has a passion for using their mind to analyse and understand themselves and their world.
3) Ambitious. I want someone that is not afraid to set and pursue challenging goals.
4) Happy. I'm 30 years old and have already worked through most of my baggage from childhood. I've learned how to be happy and enjoy life--this is an important value that I need to be able to share in a relationship.
5) Artistic. I lack any real artistic ability--nor do I have the wish to put the time into it to create such an ability in myself. However, I have a great love of artistic things. It would be wonderful to have a partner that could enrich my life in this realm.
6) Financially responsible. I've worked very hard to develop financial skills in myself. I don't want to have to go through that again with someone else.
7) Small. I like short, "pixy" women with cute faces. It's my physical preference--and we are talking about "ideal" here.
8) Goofy. I'm a very intellectual person, but I'm also a goofball. It would be great to share that with someone.
9) Adventurous. I'm really not a very adventurous person. As such, I tend to get in a "rut" with my hobbies and work. I'd like to have someone in my life that can help shake things up a bit. Perhaps I can be the "stability" to her.
10) Music Lover. As much as I love music, I could not imagine not being able to share this value with a lover. I need someone to go to the symphony and concerts with.
11) Dog Lover. I have two dogs, and I intend to always have dogs.
12) Sexually uninhibited. This is very important because sex shouldn't be a source of anxiety for her or for me. Her attitude should be that sex is good and fun, not dirty and shameful.
13) Affectionate. I personally prefer to show/receive love via physical affection--hand-holding, touching, kissing, etc. An "ideal" mate should be comfortable with this. If she doesn't enjoy cuddling on the couch on a rainy afternoon, she's probably not the girl for me.
14) Good Fighter. The reality is that any relationship will have its conflicts. The issue here is that she be able to deal with conflict without over-reacting. In other words, her reaction should be in proportion to the problem--or to paraphrase a popular colloquialism: "Don't scream and yell and throw a tantrum over spilled milk."
